Jetskis: Just don’t do it, stupid

In today’s candidate for the Darwin awards an Australian man was given a suspended sentence after accidentally killing his fiance on a  jetski. Yes, you read that right. Not for this bloke the ordinary, mundane experience of getting scammed by a dodgy operator, threatened by heavies and dealing with Thai police trying to recover his funds. Nope, this dude really wanted to get up close and personal with the Thai justice system, particularly the courts, by getting in an accident that some say was tragic and others refer to the legal maxim, “volenti non fit injuria” or in laymans terms, doing stupid shit that was asking for trouble. 

Anyway here is a link to the BBC article.

Ms Collie suffered fatal neck and shoulder injuries when the pair collided on separate rented jet skis.

At the time, Keating told police his vision was impaired by sunlight reflecting off the water.

Sounds like a real bright spark right? Anyway, don’t be that guy. This happened in Phuket which is just as much or possibly more of a tourist trap than Pattaya, at least if you’re Australian. Don’t rent a goddamn jetski, the ways in which it can go wrong are manifold and having ridden a jetski before we can confidently say there is nothing special about it. Mostly it screws  up your ass and hands from the choppy vibrations of the engine and/or waves. 

This guy was super lucky that a) he got a suspended sentence and b) he didn’t kill himself too. The Bangkok Hilton is not a nice place and we don’t mean the hotel. Thai prison is scary and don’t count on being extradicted back to serve your term in a nice, cushy Western prison.

One thing this dude deserves credit for though is letting someone smart write his media statement, which he managed to read correctly.

“I respect the country of Thailand and the Thai people. This was a tragic accident.

“However, I take responsibility for what happened. And I have decided that the best thing is to accept a charge of careless driving leading to death.”

I think there is a lesson here. Even if you are caught metaphorically or even literally with your pants down, profess respect for Thailand and the Thai people. It will help.

So to reiterate these points:

  1. If you visit Thailand, do not rent a jetski

Technically, that is only one point but we feel that it is such an important one it deserves its own list.

There are plenty of things you can do in Pattaya that don’t involve killing your girlfriend by accident. We recommend trying out such attractions as Mini Siam, Nong Nuch Tropical Botanic Gardens, etc. Additionally, domestic flights in Thailand are dirt cheap so you could easily travel to the southern islands, Phuket, or north to Chiang Mai or Pai for a few days to break up your holiday a bit.  Even nearby Asian countries such as Cambodia are only about an hours flight from Bangkok. Visit Siem Reap, see Angkor Wat!  Don’t die in a jetski accident or get beaten up by the mafia.


richard coxley

Richard Coxley is a business consultant with over 12 years experience in Asia. He enjoys playing golf. He has travelled extensively in Thailand and currently resides in Pratumnak, Pattaya.

    Leave a Reply